As users manipulate the.
This chapter is outrageously cynical and full of real examples, involving real, more alive people, so try not to spread it over the internet links - read for yourself, and to the point.
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I will start with two recent stories. One large firm has recently acquired a 2- processor server (2xXEON3. 0 GHz ) with. RAID. 5. 72 GB on the basis of. UltraSCSI. 320 discs. Everything would be fine, but the server is designed to serve the database size 5 MB. Well, very much convincing them admin....
Another story happened in a medium sized office, but it is very Internet- dependent - the whole trade, business and customers walked through the 'Net. The local admin ... CISCO. , And ... Pepper is clear that the director is more concerned with tuning his new ... DDoS. attack on the server of the company - with a gigabyte logs, paralyzed business and (self) ejection of hair in the Chief Accountant. To protect against malicious hackers piece of iron was immediately purchased, received his training admin megarouter and six months later went to a very good salary to one very rich provider (and also bought a Touareg, say).
So, let's talk about the manipulation with iron... Of course, we should not talk about the fact that all users of computers are coming to understand, they are removed from a completely unnecessary 48 -speed users. DVD. -. RW. And inserted into the good old 8- speed. CD. -. ROM. Pro video card too, let's all shut up together - let me gigabytes of spam send someone who with their original graphics are reading this text. But really, why else write a stock number on the body ( and the second on the monitor )?.
The scientific approach - Physics.
But it's all the obvious tricks, to which even go so the guys at gas stations - are writing one, fill it with another. Boring... Real programmers use a scientific approach....
If you recall, the physics in the school knew three people - the bespectacled Bob on the front row, an excellent and very Val fizichka. Given that the nick is physically literate people do not go, bespectacled Bob works in the neighboring department of IT, but excellent student Valya became your wife, you manipulate iron things based. a knowledge of physics, is one of the most. appreciative, and pleasant light of manipulation.
First of all, the immense subject of speculation has SanPiN - m. e. approved sanitary rules and regulations. (specifically Sanitary 2. 2. 2. 542-96. , GOST 12. a. 030-81. SSBT, GOST 12. a. 003-83, and others. ). These wonderful little book filled with a mass of numbers and conditions governing the work and recreation programmers (and no, there is no toast, no need to search).
So, no job in the former Soviet Union does not meet these standards. Perhaps there are some places in the working space of 6 sq.. m. But only. Oh standards for air ionization sure no one does - for this office must be placed in a pine forest, and no computer around, of course!.
So, armed with the above books, as well as horror stories about losing their potency and balding men, it is easy to carry out educational program users, and to say that they have finally launched their monitors in the rear wall of the wall ( pardon the pun, but other options are somehow not . or...).
I heard that once, after a military literacy drekolem ( scissors, paperweights and T. Dr.. ) People broke into the office of the boss and still have a fair redistribution of free space in the office. But it is hard to believe.
Good support for the struggle for free space is, say, a broken scanner ( or other device redkoispolzuemy ) and Geiger ( home sold for two thousand. rubles). With a worried look with a walk around the counter and tell the scanner to colleagues that the laser scanner sensors are highly ionized atmosphere. If tomorrow you are not moved away, razrisuy markers of concentric circles. radiation zone - the ...
But all this advice for those who are forced to share his room with the users. If you already have their own room, and it's not a toilet, converted to the server, where you sit still 4 peers, you should take action to protect their territory. No, the label is not necessary, but certainly within six months the main boss will head the IT department and ask for shelter at the time of ... Do not settle for anything - the girl Soon priberet to his head, and did not take long occupied a place brand new and not even... well, in general, undesirable colleague.
The territory must be protected. Measurements of background radiation we have said, but did not stop there. Scatter of all the free places exposed wires, former motherboards, and other attributes kabelerezy sect of Satanists beginners. On the floor lay the cables 6.5 to wallow at the feet of uninvited stranger.
It was said that the device is very effective from the Chinese laser pointer and a motion sensor, suspended from the ceiling - for every incoming watching this little red ray and prevents the perception of comfort and completely discourages stay.
Of course, there are very severe cases, when the boss gives credit for new. Audi. A8, and the expansion of the office of speech can not be, and all new employees coming and coming. In this case, you can use the last resort... It is so extreme that even the best. Back to work... But if we are cornered and have to defend themselves from invaders, hungrily eyed an unoccupied corner of your four -meter room,. - Do not wash. Yes, it just does not wash for months, wear the watch all year round, and only a vacation can be relaxing. What dirt does not lard, rubbed, and has disappeared. And the smell, by the way, the animals most reliable way to mark their territory....
Well, from the field of physics will not go into the physiology, let us into the psychology of.
A psychological approach.
The real wit and deep knowledge of psychology have shown my friends with the guys now bankrupt small factory (no, not at what the programmers have been there in a big steal, trains ).
They came to the plant once the new. TFT. Monitors (then still a wonder ), which were immediately chosen a powerful accountants. Programmers have not said anything, but the idea has earned. Only accountants managed to enjoy HD bukovok and share with each other with extraordinary sensations of free desktop as two days later began to dry before the cacti and monitors them, and everywhere in the district. Well, cacti and so is not particularly wet, accountants thought, but when they began to fall out of the pots, they are pretty pondered. Increased watering may not lead to anything, and then there was accidentally dropped in the programmer casually remarked that liquid crystals seem to have a negative impact on living organisms. Lift a quiet panic, and the accountant have to get rid of LCD monitors, which are gradually spilled over to the programmers, who was said - well, you do so quickly and balding, so... Jess! - Told the programmers, and poured into the bowl remains a colorless liquid with no . And to celebrate, even the cactus bloom.
As for cacti, which are ubiquitous in all departments yuzersky. I do not know who and when to let the rumor that the cacti protect against radiation, but in the late '80s, when the ... Members competed in a number of cacti set in front of monitors: someone told them that to protect against radiation monitor the number of inches should equal the number of cacti. Probably all. it came up with some kind of cactus, having read books on marketing, three-step, and thus extending its market to incredible size - if all the other flowers are bought only on March 8, the cacti are ... On one regret is that instead of cactus, these properties are not attributed to another grass, as it did in Holland....
Keys to the ...
Manipulated by users, who are responsible for purchasing the necessary hardware is very simple - it is sufficient to rationalize the need for. Logically, the user, of course, of course. For example, I remember for one design bureau had ordered computers, equipped with powerful graphics cards at the moment. Admin said - you draw the blueprints? .
And a month later the entire IT department and the individual close to the admin users have enjoyed a game of three heaped. D. - shooters at the maximum resolution, and the admin just ballooned from the free beer.
The logical chain should be tied to simple and understandable quality categories. A good example. : If you do not buy a mouse with a laser survey on the 1200gts, then cross the ... The result - mice purchased, everyone is happy.
A bad example. : If you do not buy ergonomic mouse, you may develop carpal tunnel syndrome. The result - ...
The more expensive the equipment, which must buy, the more difficult to justify the purchase of. In this case, helps the material known to all parties accountable to the classical approach is spreading order - assign to the system 30 monitors and a couple of blocks from the digitized video Mira Betacam- quality video to create a personal video library - no one will notice.
Of course, the manipulation of zhelezyachnye is best known to the admins and programmers but often some extra.
But let's move on to ... Yes, often mocking the admins always hustle-bustle of the programmers, but also the opportunity to focus on crude material iron, and therefore initially limited.
Next:.
how to rub points users.
how to read their minds (all 3).
and other.